Family
To Be The Best Sister
Passing down my “youngest sibling” title to you, little brother
I don’t think you know how much you mean to me. Maybe you do.
I hope you do.
For ten years, I was the youngest of three sisters. While ya-know-who and I were coming for each other’s throats, the other wanted to be left alone, unbothered.
Despite this, we all shared one big bedroom in the apartment you’ll never see. It was spacious, cozy — at least it was for little me. Yes, I was once a baby like you, like everyone else, believe it or not. It’s funny how quickly we can forget the past; your eyebrows still tie together when I’d show you the home vlogs I took of you, and we’d laugh all silly.
So let me acquaint you with the past, little brother, a small trip down blurry memory lane.
All my childhood friends had younger brothers. The twin sisters, the girl next door, and plenty at school — I had to have one, too! Of course, my reasons got a bit deeper than that as I grew older.
But I was exhilarated to find out about you, nonetheless. I actually could not believe it. Mom kept it a secret at first, with the rest of the family. Even friends knew about it before me. All my knowledge was limited to the du’a I made for you before I knew you existed.
Alas, the day you finally arrived has come — well, amongst my diary entries, letters, and even a song, I’ll let little me say it.
Qatar, 2019
Dear Brother,
I cannot express how happy I was when you were born. I was literally jumping up and down, delirious about all the new memories yet to come. As a kid, I had always dreamed and hoped for a younger brother, and that very wish had been granted, after ten whole years of waiting. If love and affection was fire, I was practically melting when I first got to meet you. Sounds really sappy, but hey, this is still English homework, and I need to add something! Though I am telling the truth, anyway.
I wish that you’ll be able to grow up, having a great, innocent childhood. And that I’ll be watching you grow up. I guess you can say, I do have a mommy-kangaroo-like protectiveness over you. And I admit, sometimes my overprotectiveness can make me into something you yourself have to be protected from. Let’s just say, I can get carried away sometimes. But I hope you know, I would never, ever hate you in any shape or form. It’s not likely at all.
I don’t know what will happen in the future, obviously. But whatever happens, I want you to know that life will be complicated at some point, and the only way to find the light again, is that you have to realize it’s there, somewhere, and you can find it. You will find it.
Right now, as I’m writing this, you are sitting beside me, peacefully eating your favorite chocolate biscuit while watching TV. Not exactly the best lifestyle, but for now, I’ll let it pass. Mom and Dad are leaving the house to go for a small, last-minute grocery shopping. You come up to me, asking me to open the door to let you go outside on the front porch, not to cause a huge tantrum and whine about going with Mom and Dad. But to see them off and say goodbye, hoping they’ll return safely. You stay outside and watch the car move away, farther and farther, turning, then disappearing. Finally, you come inside home.
Brother, little zizi, just remember that you will never be alone, that life is not perfect, and your one of the most amazing gifts I will forever be grateful of in my life.
Lots of love,
Kak Angel.
Yeah, you better be crying like I am now, brother. You somehow made a teenager write all that. For a 10-mark homework!
I can’t wait till you’re old enough to read it. It’s been staying in my memory box for quite some time.
But until then, I’ll keep remembering your love through the french fries you’d always share, the times you’d ask for me every day, and how you’d wait for me, as patient as a little brother could, when I’m busy writing stuff like this. I’m almost done, trust me.
I’m so happy to be your big sister. Don’t grow taller than me so fast, okay :)
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